Hi everyone!

If you follow me on Instagram, you know that I gave birth to my second baby boy Karter on August 22. I wanted to take some time to talk about my birth experience this time around. When reading this, know that every pregnancy is different and every birth is different. I’m not an expert at pregnancy or delivery, I am purely speaking on my experience and maybe someone will find it helpful.

This pregnancy was fairly easy besides having to deal with the added stress of COVID-19. I had mild nausea in the first trimester, and the second trimester was pretty much a breeze considering I was in quarantine for most of it. I was back at work in my third trimester and that was when I really started to feel very uncomfortable, but I was content; nothing that I couldn't handle. I mean, I worked up until maybe 2 days before my due date. So no complications at all.

With my first son, I had an unexpected c-section. (You can read about that experience here.) It was a relatively traumatic experience, but I did go into labor on my own at home. Now, let’s discuss my recent birth experience.

I was due on August 15. From the beginning of this pregnancy I discussed with my doctor how I wanted to try for vaginal birth after caesarean (TOLAC). He was very supportive and felt that I was a great candidate for it. This was exciting news for me because I did not want to go through another traumatic experience. I knew there was always the possibility that things wouldn't go my way, but it hit different this time because I was mentally prepared. Once I entered my third trimester and the actual thought of going into and delivering vaginally somehow kind of freaked me out. I think I was bringing fear upon myself for no reason; it’s literally the way women are naturally made by God to give birth. Now, here I am mentally ready for a vaginal birth after caesarean (VBAC) in a pandemic.

By this time, my hospital’s visitation restrictions were in place. Unfortunately for Keishawn and I, it impacted us. My delivering hospital would not allow visitors under the age of 13 and yep that takes my 3 year old off the visiting list. I was ok with not having other guests, but I wanted my first born to be able to come visit and share those first moments with his little brother. And randomly one day I thought, OMG what is Keaton going to do while we are at the hospital?! Everyone is in quarantine, and I surely don’t want anyone to bring COVID-19 into my home. Our families don’t live in town and yeah we have friends here, but we wouldn’t want to bother them while they are also in quarantine. To make matters worse, I began to think of what would happen if I went into labor in the middle of the night? Will the hospital understand that we don’t have any one available to care for Keaton, and he would HAVE to come to the hospital…do I even want him there at this point? Literally too much!

These thoughts were weighing heavily on my decision to go through with TOLAC or just schedule a c-section. I spoke with my doctor about it and he reminded me of my initial choice and not to worry about Keaton not being able to come to the hospital if I did go into labor at the most random time. He assured me that Keaton could come but he would not be able to stay the entire time, and would have to leave as soon as someone was able to come get him. This made me feel more at ease. We planned for Keishawn’s mom to come care for Keaton. She lives the shortest distance from us, about 4 hours away. She was self-quarantined and on standby.

Just when I thought I had everything planned perfectly, I visited my doctor the Friday before my due date and he told me that I had not been progressing much at all. I was only 1cm dilated and 0% effaced. Okay that’s fine, I delivered a week late with Keaton so I wasn't really phased by that, but because I had thoughts of my previous birth and all the unknowns with Keaton on my mind I went ahead and scheduled a c-section for Saturday, August 22nd at 9:30am just in case. My doctor didn’t think I would need it, but it was there in case we did. Then at my appointment the following week, he checked me again & still nothing!!! If this were my first child or if I had delivered vaginally previously, there would have been a few things that he could do to help get things going but because I had a previous c-section and was trying for VBAC the practice does not interfere with the natural labor process. My doctor recommend not getting induced if you have had a c-section and you have not progressed on your own. This is because medical induction can cause really strong contractions which can lead to uterine rupture putting both mom and baby in danger. There are many complications that can arise for a previous c-section mom who is trying to deliver vaginally.

So here it was the Wednesday before my scheduled c-section and almost a week past my initial due date. I had a decision to make. Do I continue to wait it out until I’m 42 weeks to see if my body can actually give birth vaginally or get my baby out before he starts pooping risking his health? Ultimately I decided to have the c-section. I felt like I waited as long as I could and did everything I could naturally to progress into labor. I was content with my decision and was very nervous about it also. Keishawn’s mom arrived in town the Thursday before the surgery, and instantly I felt the weight of one worry lift from my shoulders. I no longer had to worry about Keaton.

The night before the surgery, I spent a lot of time loving on Keaton. He was my one & only child for 3 years and when he next sees me, I won’t be able to pick him up or give him the attention that he’s used to getting; and not to mention I have to share my motherly love with someone else. I felt like I was about to cheat on him or something and I got very emotional. Good thing I had Keishawn to help talk me off the emotional ledge I was on and help me understand that Keaton would be ok and so would I.

The next morning, I was able to shower, do my makeup & hair, and calmly prepare for my hospital visit. I liked this feeling! I wasn't stressed at all. I had to arrive at the hospital 2 hours before. We got checked in, went to our room, and I got tested for COVID-19. I waited about an hour for the results to come back. My test was negative so I didn't have to wear my mask while in my room, which was great! I was rolled into surgery around 9:15am and surgery began at 9:30am as scheduled. I will say the operating room looked more vivid this time around than with my first delivery. You are more aware and have more time to process and see everything. I got my epidural for the c-section and not more than 15 minutes after it set in Karter was here! Unlike last time, I was able to look beyond that blue curtain to see my baby and I mean really see him. It was beautiful.

Now that it’s all said and done, I wouldn't have had it any other way. I’m glad that I had the support of my husband to let me decide on how I wanted to deliver our child knowing the risks involved for me as an African American and a repeat c-section patient. I am also thankful for the support I received from my doctor who never once tried to steer me away from what I had planned. Some women don’t have the support and aren’t aware of certain pregnancy related risks; so ladies, please educate yourselves and advocate for what YOU want in coordination with what your health provider feels is best medically. I am no doctor and don’t understand it all, but I knew enough to make sure that I was able to ultimately make the best decision for me and my family.